


Afraid to hold you

by Little_fucking_sunshine_for_once



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Eventual Smut, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, angsty smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2020-12-17 12:42:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_fucking_sunshine_for_once/pseuds/Little_fucking_sunshine_for_once
Summary: Wong Yuk Hei  loved  Huang Ren Jun  with  all  his  heart,  but  he  was  sure  his  actions  and  the  clumsiness  he  possesed  would  hurt  the  small  boy  that  only  wished  to  be  his.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Eventual smut coming up. Not sure how it will turn out, since I write with how I feel.
> 
> May actally turn into more chapters, depending how I'll feel.
> 
> Nonetheless, enjoy!

"Lucas!"

Eyeing the younger, Lucas felt his lips curl up into a smile.

The way he smelled, the way he laughed, the way his cheeks reddened up when they kissed. He was so beautiful. So soft. Always so delicate to touches. Lucas was afraid he might crumble and disappear if he was too tough with him, if he held him too roughly.

“Hey,” he said, voice smaller than usual as he leaned down and hugged Renjun, letting the smaller boys hands wrap around his neck. Lucas took in a breath, Renjun's smell completly captivating him. He felt the boy in his arms giggle a bit, smile pressed against his neck. Soft breaths tickled him, the warmth making him wanna kiss the boy with all he has.

“Hey,” Renjun whispered, slowly letting go off him. “How are you?” Before Renjun could properly look at Lucas, lips landed on his, kiss so delicate and gentle against his skin, his cheeks reddened up. 

As they parted, Lucas looked at Renjun, his eyes sparkling as he noticed the youngers blush. A smile decorated his lips as he brought a hand up to Renjuns cheek, the younger leaning into his touch. He kissed the palm of him hand, grabbed it with both of his hands, looking up at him.

A soft smile crept onto his own lips, eyes delicately looking into Lucas's. As their eyes met, Lucas could feel his heart melt. He literally held his whole world in one hand.

“Wanna go inside?” Renjun just nodded. Their home date was just about to begin.

“Here, let me get that,” Lucas said, helping Renjun get his jacket off and hang it next to the door. “Thanks.” The smaller boy smiled and watched his boyfriend put his coat away in awe. Did he always look this good? This beautiful?

Suddenly, all Renjun wanted was to hold him. Closely, tightly, with all he has. How he wanted him, all for himself. He wanted to show him how much he ment to him, how happy he makes him.

Lucas must've noticed the youngers eyes on him, not moving away from scanning his face, because he came closer to him, placed his hands on the youngers cheeks and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. Renjun placed his hands on Lucas's waist, tugging against his shirt, tiptoeing to catch his lips again. 

Lucas was surprised by Renjun's sudden kiss; it was far more desperate and passionate then he ever anticipated. Renjun wrapped one arm around Lucas's neck, the other one caressing his cheek, pulling him closer, as close as he could get. Lucas placed his hands on Renjun's waist, lightly tugging against it, pulling him closer to him.

As Renjun parted slightly to catch a breath, Lucas looked at him. Delighted at what he was seeing, he watched in awe. Cheeks flushed in soft red tones, the tips of his ears painted red, hair messy against his forehead and lips shining, plump. He wondered if he was pushing the bars a tad bit too high for Renjun to handle.

“You okay?” Renjun looked up at Lucas and nodded. “Why?” Confused upon hearing the question, he bit his lower lip. “Did I do something wrong?”

Lucas could feel his heart shatter. Why would he ever think that? “No! No,” Lucas quickly said, hands rushing up to the youngers cheeks, palms caressing a small of his skin. “I just... Don't want to push you.” he whispered, lips a few small centimeters away from Renjun's.

Renjun softly smiled and tiptoed, leaving a small peck on his lips before letting out a breath and taking one hand into his, intertwining fingers. 

“So,” Renjun said, pulling Lucas with him to step away from the door. “What are we doing today?”

Lucas had to take a breath to clear his mind before speaking, because all he was thinking was ‘you’. He was testing his own limits today, wanting nothing but to feel his boyfriends body against his, to feel his hot breath warming up against his neck. He was afraid of hurting him, so he restrained himself from the things he wanted dearly. Their sizes are noticeably different; Lucas being the whole damn closet and Renjun being the small fairy that he is. And not to mention the sizes of their hands. Renjun had to hold Lucas's one hand with both of his, and Lucas felt his heart melt everytime he did just that.

“I don't know, what do you wanna do?” Renjun paused for a few seconds, pount on his lips the whole time he was thinking. “Hm... How about a movie?” Lucas nodded with the sleepy smile. “Okay. Sit on the couch, I'll bring something to drink and snacks.” Renjun smiled, pulled Lucas closer to him and tiptoed, placing a kiss on his lips and sat on the couch.

Lucas got to the kitchen and took in a deep breath, leaning hands against the counter. “Fuck, I'm such an idiot.” he breathed out, head falling below his shoulders as he sighed, closing his eyes. He took in a breath and straightened up, reaching up to get the glasses, as he felt one hand run up his back and the other down his hip, barely missing his front. He slightly turned, making sure he's not making it up, and released a breath, hand resting on Renjun's as the younger pressed his head against his back. “What's up?”

He swore he could hear him sniff, as if he was crying. “Renjun? Are you oka-” “Are you breaking up with me?”

Lucas had to take a breath. What?

“What? No, Renjun, why-” “Do you not like me?” Lucas quickly spun around, hands holding Renjun's, making sure he won't run away. And the sight he faced was heartbreaking; Renjun's nose was red, just like anytime he was about to cry, eyes full with tears, that were just about to spill. Lucas's heart broke into a million pieces everytime he cried, happy or sad tears.

“What? Why would you think that?” The softest voice Lucas could let out made Renjun finally look up at him, eyes catching his. “I just...” his voice was cracking. “I just feel like you don't want me.” Lucas could only stare wide at Renjun. Nonethless, his hands made their way up to wipe the falling tears off of Renjun's cheeks. The sight made his eyes tear up, too.

“God, Renjun, why would you think that?” he asked, voice cracking, too. Renjun reached up, caught Lucas's hand, and looked up at him. “Why don't you ever touch me?”

Ah, there it was. The question even Lucas was afraid of.

He took in a deep breath and swipped the falling tear down Renjun's cheek.

He cleared his throat and looked at Renjun.


	2. Chapter 2

“Renjun,” Lucas softly let out, voice rather whispering. “I... I'm afraid I'll hurt you.”

He searched for the smaller boy's eyes again, tears filling his far too quickly. Renjun's cheeks were damp wet, nose red, but there was a small smile forming on his lips.

“Why would you ever hurt me?”

Lucas felt tears slip out of his eyes, hands shaking. “Lucas...” Renjun whispered, eyes focused on the falling tears on his boyfriends cheeks. “I... I'm afraid...”

Voice cracking, hands shaking, tears falling... Renjun had never seen him like that. It made his heart hurt, and tears coming back into his eyes.

“Why?” he whispered, hands searching for Lucas's again. “Lucas, tell m-” “I'm clumsy, and stupid, and big.” Lucas started, voice cracking more than he wanted.

“And you're so small... So... Delicate, Renjun, I'm afraid I might hurt you, Jesus Christ. I'm afraid I will fucking break you, my huge fucking hands, my big fucking b-” Pressing his lips against Lucas's, Renjun hung his arms around the taller boy's neck, pulling him into a kiss. Lucas bent down and placed his hands on Renjun's waist, pulling him closer to his front, private parts too close yet too far to matter.

Something in Renjun popped and he took one of Lucas's hands, placed it on the thigh he rose up to the taller boys hip. When he felt him grabb it, a small moan escaped Renjun's lips. Lucas took in a quick breath, the new noises the smaller boy left out making him want him even more. “Fuck.” Renjun whispered between kisses, now slidding his tongue against Lucas's lips, and Lucas pulled him up, so he was straddeling his lap. Renjun moaned, feeling the bulge rub against his ass, and grabbed a small of Lucas's hair. Lucas moaned into the kiss and parted, foreheads pressed together as they both searched for air. Renjun softly smiled, looking at Lucas's plump lips, and the way they shone under the mild kitchen light. And Lucas stared at Renjun; the way his cheeks reddened up, the way his lips glistened.

Lucas turned around, put Renjun on the counter and looked at him. “Heavy?” Renjun asked, eyebrows rosen. Lucas shook his head, softly smiling. “Of corse not,” he pulled Renjun by his waist closer to him, nuzzling their noses together, smiling. “I might drop you.”

“Oh, come on,” Renjun laughed. “You wouldn't.” Lucas laughed, inching closer to Renjun's lips. “I wouldn't.” Locking their lips, Lucas let out a moan as Renjun tug at his hair.

Lucas slid his hands lower, both landing on Renjun's ass, groping at it. Renjun slid forward, his intime part brushing against Lucas's and they both moaned. Lucas pushed forward at the feeling of Renjun's moan vibrating against his lips, making Renjun slide back and hit his head against the cabinet.

“Ow,” Renjun laughed out, parting to caress the back of his head. “Fuck,” Lucas said, quickly letting go off him, hands only touching where Renjun got hurt to see the damage. “Shit, I'm sorry.” Renjun smiled and looked at Lucas, who was panicking. He took his hands, and wrapped his legs around the taller boys waist, pulling him close to him.

“Renjun,” Lucas breathed out, the sexual tension in his eyes now completly gone and replaced with fear and dissapointment. “Let's stop, please.” Renjun pulled him back and placed one hand on his chin. “Hey, hey. Mabey you could just take me to bed?” “Renjun, no. Please.” “It's soft there. I won't bang any- ”“Renjun, no! Okay? Let's stop here.”

Lucas softly broke free from Renjun's hold and turned to get some juice and the snacks he promised before.

Renjun watched him in silence before feeling his eyes water up again. “You really don't want me, do you?” Lucas placed the glass back on the counter and sighed, leaning against the counter and let his head fall below his shoulders again. 

“You know it's not that.” “Then why?! Why?” Renjun shouted, his voice craking as a tear slipped past his eyes. “Lucas, we've been together for more than enough, if that's what you're afraid of.” “Renjun, please.” “Am I just not appealing to you? Do you... Not find me attractive?” Lucas took in a deep breath and straightened up. “Renjun, stop.” Looking at the vain infront of him, Lucas felt his eyes water up.

Renjun laughed out, sarcastically. Another tear slipped past his eyelashes as he turned his eyes away from Lucas. “This is becoming pathetic. I feel like I'm begging you to have sex with me.” he said, voice soft but full of anger. “Can't you just tell me?” Lucas took in a deep breath and looked at him. “Tell you what?” “Why am I not good enou-” “Renjun, stop! I'd fuck you into the fucking wall so hard you'd leave a print right there! I'd do so many things to you, so many fucking things but I can't! I just fucking can't!” Renjun stared at Lucas with eyes wide.

“I just fucking can't...” Lucas looked away from him, sniffling while blinking the tears away. 

Renjun remained quiet for a few seconds, just looking at him. “You really do think you will hurt me.” Lucas let out a sigh, dropping the glass in his hand back onto the counter and leaning his head to the front. 

“Why are you so afraid, Lucas?” Renjun spoke softly, whipping his own cheeks. “I'm not made from porcelain, I'm not so fragile.” “I know,” Lucas started, spoken words rather a breathy mumbling. “But whenever I do something, practically anything, you end up getting hurt. Just like before. I only wanted to feel you closer, and I ended up hurting you.” Renjun shook his head. 

“You didn't hurt me, Lucas. My head is fine.” Renjun watched as Lucas slowly rubbed his eyes and sighed. “Come here.”

Lucas made the few steps without even thinking and before he knew it, Renjun's arms were holding him close, hugging him. And he had to admit; the warm breath down the nape of his neck made him calmer than ever. And since it was Renjun, that made it even better.

“Lucas?” Lucas hummed in response. “I love you.” He somehow wanted to cry hearing those words. “I love you,” he breathed out, hands gripping around Renjun just a tad bit more. “I love you, too, so much. I just want you to know that.” And Renjun did. He knew; he always knew Lucas loved him.

“Lucas?” He let go off Renjun, sniffled and looked into his eyes. “I'm sorry.” Renjun softly smiled and caressed his hair, Lucas just melting into his hands, closing his eyes. Renjun leaned in and placed a kiss onto his nose, the sudded touch making Lucas smile and open his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut comes in the next chapter, mabey the next 2 :)


	3. Chapter 3

Renjun stared at Lucas and Lucas stared at Renjun; the silence between them pleasant. 

Renjun smiled softly, fingers still playing with Lucas's hair. Lucas's fingers played with the hem of Renjun's shirt, fingers lightly tapping on the soft skin it covered.

Renjun leaned in and kissed him; the kiss soft and delicate, but full of passion. Lucas returned the kiss, hands pulling Renjun just a tad bit closer. “I want you,” Renjun whispered. “But if I have to wait, just know I will.” Lucas shook his head, taking a deep breath. “I don't want you to wait. I love you,” he breathed out, forehead pressed against Renjuns. “You know I wanna do it, too. It's pretty obvious, actually.” 

Lucas lightly giggled, the situation making him embarrassed. Renjun looked at the rising bulge in his pants, and lightly ghasped. “I'm just terrified.”

Renjun looked up back at Lucas, cheeks red with embarrassment. “Lucas,” Renjun said, voice trembling. And all Lucas could think about was Renjun telling him he doesn't want him, that he was wrong, that he wants to stop. He was sure he made an idiot of himself.

“Take me to bed.”

Lucas looked up at Renjun surprised, eyes reading the atmosphere. The lust in Renjun's eyes was too defined not to notice, and the way his cheeks shaded at the spoken words made Lucas even more turned on.

Lucas couldn't stop himself from kissing Renjun, pulling him close and caressing his waist while Renjun dug one of his hands in his hair, making Lucas moan into the kiss. Renjun pulled Lucas closer to him, legs back around the tall boy's hips, intime parts brushing against each other.

“Oh, fuck,” Renjun whispered, feeling Lucas grope his ass with one hand, the other holding him steady against himself. He slipped his tongue into Renjun's mouth, the sudden moist, passionate kiss turning into a breathy, moany kiss. 

When they parted, Renjun smiled, feeling Lucas grow even harder against him. He pulled Lucas's hand from behind his ass and pulled it up against his cheek, kissing it once. Lucas could melt when he did that, eyes almost watering at the sight of his whole world at the palm of his hand, looking at him with the most precious, sincere eyes.

He leaned in, kissing Renjun while picking him up, Renjuns hands wrapping around his neck, legs tangling behind his back to safen the hold. Lucas held him with one hand around his waist, the other under his bottom, making sure he wasn't going anywhere.

Placing him onto the bed softly, Renjun parted from the kiss, looking up at him once before smiling softly and kissing him deeply again, pulling him on top of him.

Lucas returned the kiss, but slowly changed places with Renjun, the smaller boy now straddeling his lap. Renjun parted, a smile on his lips before he spoke. “Are you serious right now?”

Lucas watched the smiling boy in awe, the feeling of his rising bulge right under Renjun's ass making his head spin. Seeing Renjun respond with the same amount of feelings as his member twiched whenever Lucas slightly moved under him, Lucas reached out his hand and pulled him into a kiss, the other hand making sure his position stayed unchanged.

Parting the kiss, Renjun slightly tugged on Lucas's shirt, and Lucas got the shirt off without much thinking. Renjun's cheeks burned at the sight, not because he hasn't seen the melanin body his boyfriend hid, but because of the tension that Lucas's eyes held. 

Renjun softly smiled as Lucas stared, and pulled his own shirt off, the softness of his skin just dying to be held.

“Holy shit, Renjun. You're beautiful,” Lucas whispered, hands running up the small boys hip and chest. Renjun moaned slightly at the touch, hands fidgeting against Lucas's hip bones.

“Come here,” Lucas whispered, and Renjun leaned down, lips catching Lucas's in a slow, messy kiss. Lucas gently slid his hands up Renjun's thighs, and rubbed slow circles into his inner thighs. Renjun twitched as Lucas came a bit too close to his member, moving a bit against Lucas's lap, the feeling making both of them moan.

Renjun decided he wanted Lucas naked, as soon as possible, so he slid his hands from Lucas's chest to his jeans, unbuttoned the button and unzipped them. He just wanted to taste him, to feel him closer, to be his.

As Renjun moved away from his lap, Lucas stood up and pulled his own jeans off. Only standing with his boxers and the well defined bulge, Renjun laid flat on his back, legs opened before Lucas, and he grabbed the teasing boy's ankles, softly pulling him closer. Renjun felt Lucas's member press against him, wrapping his legs around Lucas as he leaned down and kissed him once, then proceeded to kiss along his jaw, neck and chest.

“Fuck, Renjun,” Lucas whispered against his skin as Renjun pulled Lucas closer, their intime parts grinding against each other. Lucas straightened up and unbuttoned Renjun's jeans, unzipped them and pulled them off, as gentle as he could. As soon as the jeans landed on the ground, he leaned down and kissed Renjun. He slipped his tongue into Renjun's mouth, the younger boy moaning and ghasping at the feeling of their bodies touching each other, their tongues dancing together, their breaths mixing into a moany mess.

Lucas parted, placed a few kisses against Renjuns cheek, nose and forehead before looking at him, smiling softly.

“What?” Renjun laughed, intertwining fingers with Lucas's, the size differences making both of them chuckle. “Nothing,” Lucas said, pulling the intertwined hands up to his lips, giving Renjun's a small kiss. “You're beautiful.” With the whispered words Renjun's cheeks and ears colored red, eyes looking a different direction than Lucas's.

“Thank you,” he whispered, the small ball in his throat dissolving with every touch Lucas gave him. Letting go off his hands, Lucas smiled, traced a path of kisses down Renjun's stomach and kissed a trail across the band of his boxers before tucking his fingers behind them and pulling them down. Renjun softly ghasped at the cool air hitting his exposed skin, a wave of embarrassment hitting him, realizing he was completly exposed to Lucas. 

Looking up at him, Renjun smiled softly, the smile quick to disappear as Lucas leaned in, kissing him while getting on top of him, knees in between the small boys legs, thighs pressing against his inner thighs. One hand on his waist, the other supporting himself from falling and accidentally killing the poor boy underneeth him, Lucas kissed Renjun passionately.

Renjun tucked his fingers behind Lucas's boxers while returning the kiss, slightly pulling off the boxers. Both moaned as Lucas's member touched Renjun's skin on skin, parting.


	4. Chapter 4

“Jesus Christ,” Lucas let out, as a breathy moan almost. Looking down, he slightly grinded against Renjun, the small boy whimpering while throwing his head back. Lucas quickly got off him, kneeled on the floor and pulled Renjun closer to the edge of the bed, and he obeyed; propping himself onto his elbows, eyes looking at Lucas.

His cheeks were burning red with the new angle of exposure as Lucas opened his legs, planting kisses all over his thighs. Hands gently supporting the twitching legs, Lucas gently rubbed small circles into his thighs, hips and ocassionally waist. Renjun twitched more whenever Lucas kissed against the soft skin of his inner thighs, or just above his member, hips and down the trail from his inner thigh to his ass.

Looking up at Renjun, Lucas smiled softly before licking one short stipe from his entrance up to his member. Seeing Renjun whine out and throw his head backwards, he felt his own member twitch just as Renjun's did against his stomach.

Lucas then slowly circled around the hole with one finger, slowly letting the tip enter the small boy before licking around it. He then slowly pumped the finger, slowly pushing it in. He pumped it a few times before pulling it out and adding another finger, Renjuns moaning filling the room. Pumping the digit, he kissed against Renjuns thighs, one hand slowly but surely rubbing against the shaft of his member, not really pumping him.

He smudged the precum leaving Renjun's member over his thumb, and pressed the finger against his hole, the substance acting as lube before he entered the third finger.

Renjun's moaning made him more excited than he wanted to admit, making him a mess before Renjun even touched him.

“Fuck, Lucas,” Renjun let out, hand coming up to his chest, pinching against his nipples as he watched Lucas kiss up his thigh, fingers pumping and grinding over his sensitive spot. As Lucas looked up at Renjun, their eyes met and Renjun could feel his whole body light up with blush. How lewd must he look, touching himself when being touched more than enough.

“Dear God, Renjun, you look absolutely beautiful,” Lucas whispered against his skin, hand still pumping as he squeezed in another finger, a few cries slipping past Renjun's lips. Lucas felt the need to suck on his member, so he licked his tip, placed a sucking kiss on it and slightly put it in his mouth. Renjun cried out from over sensitivity, Lucas's fingers pumping into his bottom, Lucas's tongue drawing circles around the tip of his member. He wanted to come, to scream as he came.

“Lucas, I'm gonna come,” he cried out, hands digging into the elder boy's hair as he looked up at him, eyes meeting in a stare that wasn't awkward at all. Renjun moaned, breaths rather sounding like cries, watching Lucas suck on his member.

Renjun pulled on Lucas's hair a bit, making him moan, the vibrations sent down Renjun's member making the boy come. He moaned loudly, back arching, head thrown forward and then backwards, legs closing around Lucas's body as he shot his come into his mouth. Lucas kept pumping his fingers, helping him ride out his climax.

By the time Renjun calmed down, he had tears in his eyes. Lucas pulled away from him, wipping around his mouth slightly, hand coming up to his lips as he stopped in his tracks, eyes widering, breath stopping in his lungs. 

“R... Renjun?” Lucas whispered, staring at the tear slipping down the smaller boys cheeks. Renjun's breath was quick, legs still slightly shivering and Lucas couldn't help but think about... the thoughts again.

He slowly backed away from Renjun and he looked at him. Renjun furrowed his eyebrows. “Lucas?” The tall boy didn't respond. “Lucas, hey, what's wrong?”

The silence made him worry. “Lucas, come on. What's wrong?” Lucas mumbled something Renjun couldn't quite catch. He sat up, hands quick to search for Lucas's. 

“Hey, hey, Lucas. What's going on?” Lucas looked up into Renjun's eyes, tears overflowing. Renjun quickly sat closer to the edge of the bed, pulling Lucas closer to him. Lucas was kneeling on the floor, hands on both sides of Renjun's thighs, against the bed. Renjun held his cheeks, thumbs circling gently against the reddened skin. “Lucas.”

“Lucas.” “I hurt you again,” Lucas whispered, words too light for anyone to hear. “What?” “I hurt you, again, Renjun, fuck.” Renjun was confused. “What- Why do you think that?”

Lucas felt a tear slip past his eyelashes. “You were crying,” he breathed out, hands searching for Renjun's gently. “Just before.” 

Renjun stared at Lucas, not believing what he was hearing. He softly locked fingers with him, a small smile creeping onto his lips. “God, you're silly.” he softly let out, a small chuckle coming from his lips. 

Lucas looked at Renjun, eyes wide hearing the chuckle. “What?” mumbling, Lucas's eyes cleared up a bit. “I'm saying you're silly, Lucas. I wasn't crying because you hurt me, I cried of pleasure. Dummy,” he whispered the last word, hand slowly making it's way up to caress Lucas's hair a bit. 

Lucas felt cheeks and ears burn up, embarrassed.

“Come here.” Lucas obeyed. Hands slightly squeezing Renjuns, he stood up and Renjun locked lips with him. After the kiss got a bit heated again, Lucas's hands holding Renjun around his waist, the other boy's hands around his neck, burried in his hair, Lucas pulled away. 

“Wha-” “We need a safe word.” 

Renjun stared at Lucas, Lucas stared at him. 

“What?” Lucas liced his lips, staring at Renjun. “We, me and you, need a safe word. I can't do this,” pulling a bit up, he let go off Renjun's waist. “Not unless we have a safe word.” Renjun smiled and giggled.

“How about I just tell you to stop?” he laughed out, lightly smacking Lucas's shoulder. Lucas nodded, bitting his bottom lip. “I guess that works, too.” “You're so silly.” Renjun said, lips in a smile before pulling him closer to himself and kissing him.

Lucas kissed him back, slowly climbing back on the bed. They parted and Renjun bit his lower lip, smirking at Lucas before pushing him off himself gently, and got on top of him, straddeling his lap.

Lucas stared at his face as he moaned out, his sensitive hole and balls pressed against Lucas's boner. He is so beautiful, he thought to himself. “So freaking beautiful.” he let out, and Renjun looked at him, cheeks redding up. 

Kissing him once, he then traced a line of kisses down his stomach, fingers already pulling down his boxers. Going lower, Renjun pulled the boxers down his thighs, and Lucas lightly raised his legs, knee bumping at Renjun.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Only smut)

“I'm okay.” Renjun reassured Lucas again, the bigger boy worrying again. “Lucas, stop. I'm fine. I am not made of porcelain, stop.”

Lucas remained quiet for a few seconds before sighing. “I didn't use the safe word, did I?” Lucas stopped and thought it through. “N, no, you didn't.” Renjun smiled softly. “See? It's okay.”

Renjun got back onto Lucas's lap, kissing him before running his tongue over his bottom lip. Lucas gently held his hips in place, caressing small patches of skin before giving his ass a squeeze, making Renjun moan into the kiss. Both of their members twitched at the new feeling as Lucas spread Renjun's cheeks apart, his entrance sliding down against Lucas's shaft.

Renjun parted, hand searching for the lube they threw on the bed beforehand at some point. As he found it, he picked himself up a bit, squeezed some of the lube on his fingers and lubed himself up. Lucas watched in adoration, running his hands over Renjun's torso and thighs softly.

Renjun then bent over, placed a moist kiss on Lucas's lips and took his member into his hand, giving it a few pumps. Making Lucas moan at the touch, he felt his member twitch in his palm.

He parted, lined up with Lucas and slowly pushed onto him, both surprised and delighted at the size, he moaned out loudly. Placing his hands onto Lucas's chest he slowly pulled off him. “Holy shit,” Renjun moaned, his vision already blurry, head spinning. “Fuck.” Releasing a deep breath with closed eyes, fingers lightly twitching against Lucas's chest as he slowly pished down on him again. This time he took him whole; they fit together perfectly. Lucas touched every part of Renjun that made him cry out, Renjun just right for Lucas to feel everything.

“Fuck, Lucas,” Renjun moaned, still keeping the pace he started with. “Shit, I might come just from this.” Lucas slid his hand up to pull him into a kiss, lips crashing together in a passionate kiss, tongues twisting against each other, breaths mixing while Renjun started picking up speed. He moved faster, more surely, but still slow, deep, just right to have both of them a mess.

“Shit, Renjun,” Lucas parted, feeling the small boy's member twitch against his stomach and his walls closing around him. He was close, but Renjun was as well.

“Renjun, can I come in you?” Lucas breathed out, adoring the moaning mess on top of him. His thrusts were slow, deep, rhythmic, driving both of them crazy. “Fuck, yes, Lucas, yes.” Renjun moaned out, thrusting down on Lucas with more need than he wantedto show. “Shit, I'm gonna come.” he whispered, leaning down to his against Lucas's neck, rolling his hips once. The change of angle made both of them moan, fingers searching for anything they could hold.

“Holy shit, fuck,” Renjun moaned, legs giving up on him as he was getting closer and closer. “Lucas! Shit!” He sped up, thrusts getting shallower, but stronger and it made Lucas moan out, hips thrusting uppwards into him, grabbing his thighs. Lucas felt Renjun twitch with every thrust, and the tightness around his member was stronger and stronger. 

Renjun came undone on top of Lucas, walls tightening around him as he shot up against Lucas's stomach, body twitching, moaning loudly while throwing his head backwards. Lucas came, his member twitching inside Renjun as he filled him up. Hands dug into Renjun's thighs, hips bucking against him with every breath.

“Holy shit,” Renjun whispered, legs still twitching with every breath he took in. “Yeah,” Lucas whispered, hand brushing away the hair stuck to his forehead. Renjun watched him in adoration; the plump lips, the messy hair, the glittering sweat. All so beautiful, all completly...his.

“I love you.” Renjun whispered, the sudden confession nothing new between them, but the situation made it so much more delicate. Lucas felt his eyes water, not knowing wether to smile or pull Renjun into a hug. “I love you.”

Renjun slowly bent over, lips catching Lucas's in a slow passionate kiss. Lucas softly pulled Renjun uppwards to his lips, sliding out of him, and the cum poured out of him. The feeling made Renjun part and moan out, head falling backwards before he looked down, staring at the thick, white trace down his thighs, some smudging across Lucas's waist. “Holy fucking shit.” Renjun whispered to himself, hand going lower to dip between his legs and taste his cum.

Lucas watched him, lips parted as he brought the hand up to his lips, fingers dipping in between his lips, tongue cleaning them up as he stared at Lucas. “Shit, Renjun,” Lucas whispered, the scene making him blush. “You're so fucking hot.”

Renjun lightly laughed, the smile remaining on his lips as he bent over, lips only a centimeter away from Lucas's. “Please fill me up, again.” he whispered, eyes catching Lucas's before the elder kissed him deeply, rolling over so now he was on top, legs between Renjun's.

Lucas parted, lips trailing down Renjun's jaw, neck and chest, before pumping his own member a few times. Renjun smiled looking at him, hands slowly dragging up his chest, fingers lightly tapping against his nipples. Lucas then once pressed against his entrance, slid in and pulled back out, then grinded against him, dry humping a bit as he kissed him, tongues twisting while swallowing moans. Renjun had his hands around Lucas's neck, and Lucas held himself up, one hand ocassionally holding and caressing Renjun's hips.

“Shit,” Renjun parted, feeling his member leaking precum against his abdomen. “Put it in, Lucas, please.” he whispered lightly, hand going up to tug on Lucas's hair. Lucas moaned at the feeling and bent over, kissed Renjun once before pulling away and turning him over.

Renjun laid on his stomach and Lucas pulled one of his thighs up, getting on top of him. He pulled a pillow to him, placing it under Renjun's stomach, placed some kisses against his shoulders and back while pushing in slowly. Renjun moaned out loudly, head leaning back as he took in a breath, hands gripping at the sheets, the new pose making sure Lucas would touch and press against every spot Renjun wanted to.

Lucas intertwined fingers with Renjun, placed a kiss onto his cheek and slowly started moving. His cum provided extremely good lube, and soon he could speed up a bit. “Shit, Lucas, go faster.” Lucas slightly sped up, making sure Renjun was okay. “Faster, Lucas,” he moaned out, one hand pressed against his ass, spreading wider for Lucas. He pressed back onto him, wanting more, faster, harder. “Please, just fuck me sensless, Lucas, please!” And Lucas obeyed; he picked up his speed, hand pressed against Renjun's hip, driving him back against himself. He could hear Renjun moan louder, hands gripping the sheets tightly, hips bucking up against him. Lucas moaned, one hand lightly smacking Renjun's ass, making the younger cry out at the pleasure. Soon, Renjun was tightening around him, moans pitched, breath harsh, shoulders red with embarrassment as he looked over his shoulder, eyes catching Lucas's.

Lucas could see Renjun smiled at him slighty and blushed up, the dark cheeks making Renjun come and he tightened around Lucas, making him come after only a few more thrusts. 

The room was echoing with both of their deep breaths. There was pleasant silence for a few seconds as Lucas pulled out of Renjun, laying beside him on the bed. Renjun felt the cum spill out of him again, a content smile on his lips as he pulled a hand against his lips, licking the white substance off his fingers. Lucas watched him, lips parted, eyes fixed on the small details of his absolutely beautiful boyfriend, fucked out of his mind, filled with his cum, covered with his hickeys, kisses, touches.

“Renjun,” Lucas whispered, eyes staring at each other from the same places as before, tired bodies not moving. “Hmm?” Lucas gulped lightly. “I love you.”

Renjun smiled softly, getting up and laid down next to him, hands resting on his chest, chin pressed on top of them. “I love you, too, so much.” Lucas caressed his hair with gentle strokes and smiled softly. Renjun picked himself up and kissed him, kiss lazy and messy, but passionate.

“We should clean up,” Lucas whispered after a few short minutes of cuddling, drawing small circles into Renjun's soft back as the younger boy held his waist lightly.

“Mm,” Renjun whispered, head lightly shifting more into Lucas. “Okay.” Lucas pulled away his hand, kissed the top of Renjun's head and helped him up, kissing his cheek while slowly pulling him to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I might've made Renjun a bit too needy, but I just went along with my feelings when writing.
> 
> Might continue with some more smut, because I really like this pairing.
> 
> Thank you!


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